“The only game where everyone playing is willing to die for everyone watching.” Yeah, Da KIDD just dropped that one on you.
Back in the day, yours truly applied to the Academy. Made it all the way to the psych-eval where I heard, “you have a glorious lack of respect for, and a tremendous inability to submit to authority.” Da KIDD’s response? “Yeah, why don’t you go and f*k yourself with that bayonet.”
Needless to say, Da KIDD took another path. All hard feelings between the academies and KIDD were swept under the rug after Navy took a knee at the goal line to keep the total under 51 1/2 points a few years back. Here’s to sportsmanship and to a 4-game parlay that paid 20-1.
On to the game. I’ve got this Uncle…let’s call him, “Uncle Joe”. He may or may not be related to Cousin Emmet. Ok, he’s his pops. “Joe” is an old bastard now. He uses a walker and a piss bag to get the mail every morning.
Uncle Joe was a Navy man. Back in the day, Uncle Joe could also chase tail with the best of ’em. We’re talkin’ a poon hound of the lowest order. As he was loosely affiliated with the healthcare field, I’ve seen that man chase more nurse skirts than Dr. McDreamy did on Grey’s Anatomy.
Uncle Joe was a believer in the constitution and showed that by being an equal opportunist when it came to skanks. White, black, obese, crack-whore, lice-infested, syphillis harboring–you name it. Joe would attempt to mount it. Occasionally, he apparently succeeded. He did sire Cousin Emmet, afterall.
Although dishonorably discharged, he never would talk about the facts surrounding his removal from his station post in Manila, but I’ve heard rumors from family members it involved a Spitting Monocled Cobra and a gay prostitute.
Ole Joe has never let that misunderstanding keep him from supporting the Blue and Gold. I can still hear him say, “Blue for the ocean! Gold for valor! Now grab me a cold one kid, and turn it back to that Nat Geo so I can look at those Pygmy boobies again.”
Because of Uncle Joe, Da Kidd has to pick against Navy in this one. Uncle Joe never did sh*t for me, so I’m not picking his Midshipmen. As the Marines always tell the Navy boys, “Yeah, whenever there’s a skirmish overseas, we appreciate you boys giving us a ride to go and fight.” My sentiments exactly.
This game is a true rivalry. Now, not of the Alabama/Auburn or Ohio State/Michigan ilk, but, you know, the “lets pretend this is a rivalry so we can honor Pat Tillman for the 27th time” kind of rivalry.
Navy is more talented and better coached. They should win this game by a margin greater than the Halls of Montezuma. But there’s just something special Da Kidd is feeling about Army in this one. I’m calling The Cadets to score a late TD and get a back door cover.
Speaking of back door, I met this chick at Mandalay Bay the other night. More on that later.. These colors don’t run.
Navy 35 Army 14