Monthly Archives: August 2016

Smokes Spring & Summer

The number one question I get when I bump into old friends is, “what have you been up to lately?” It’s been awhile since my last post so I feel an update is in order. 

Some believe my moniker, 2 Smokes, originated from my penchant to smoke at least 2 premium hand-rolled stoges a day. In reality, it’s in honor of my lover whose passion is so hot, it takes 2 smokes after just to calm me down. But I digress…

So my lover and I spent the better part of the late winter and early spring nestled away at our chalet outside of Innsbruck. Our days were spent skiing the alps and exploring the deeper truths of the Kama Sutra. Our old friends, Hans and Mimzie, kept us supplied with rare Cabs and carefully aged meats. 

Few things can motivate us to depart our earthly sanctuary, but when Chris and the guys from Coldplay asked me to help them pull off their first stadium tour, I could not resist.

We met Chris @ a Labor Day clambake on the cape a number of years ago when he and Gwynnie were dating. We were struck by his charisma and we’ve been close ever since. 

Not since I organized the first Monsters of Rock back in the early 80s have I been this enthused about a project.

Incidentally, I met Whitesnake front-man, David Coverdale, backstage @ Donnington. We decided to write a little song about my dating life and a few minutes later, “Still of the Night” was born. 

The boys have some great ideas and with a few tweaks we had crafted a stellar show. It gave the wife and I an excuse to travel the world and connect with old friends. 

Aside from some recent legal issues leaving Brazil following an incident with some US swimmers, and Wikileaks publishing my offshore banking practices creating a few sticky immigration issues, our time so far this year has been transcendent. 

Fortunately, we have the best legal team in the business. I can’t mention their other clients but one of them is a very corrupt former Senator who is running for President in a very prominent country. She may be the most corrupt politician in history, but they keep her and her philandering husband on the outside of prison. So you know they’re good. 

I recently tracked DaKidd down. Word has it he is on house arrest following what he described as “a misunderstanding.” DaKidd emphatically declared his innocence telling me, “she swore she was 18!” The fact that they were sort of related never came up. 

But, I love DaKidd! Sure he’s morally challenged, but he’s got a heart of gold. I’m sure he will regale us with tales of conquest and gambling exploits. In fact, he bragged in passing how he was the dude who manually pleasured Pioneer of the Nile, producing the seed that spawned this year’s Triple Crown Winner, American Pharoah. 

Regardless, I am excited about this year’s upcoming college football season. I look forward to sharing my thoughts about upcoming games and I’ll even handicap the US Presidential Race. Should make for a memorable fall to say the least. Are you ready for some football???