As a God-fearing man, it is incumbent upon me to hate Ole Miss. Just like Hillary Rodham Clinton, these insufferable b@stards stand for everything wrong in the world.
Like HRC, they only want white people to win. Like HRC, they promise black people the world and then use them to get what they want. And like Bill Clinton, they want to marry blonde white women and bang thick sistas in the Oval Office.
I’m not saying that HRC wants to bang thick sistas in the Oval Office, but if HRC wins, Donna Brazile has first dibs on the Lincoln bedroom!
And as disgusting as a HRC presidency would be, Ole Miss winning an SEC or National Championship would be worse.
We’ve been electing moribund, lying, & cheating politicians for years. And even though HRC is the most morally challenged politician to contend for a nations highest office since Hitler assumed power in Germany, she would do less damage the fabric of America than an Ole Miss natty.
DaKidd will extol the virtues of the Grove and no doubt recount some tale of violating an under-aged dilettante during the first possession of the 3rd overtime in the Arkansas Razorbacks’ 7 overtime win in Oxford back in 2001. In reality, the Grove is nothing more than a Cambodian refugee camp with more pretense, makeup, and fake boobs!
By the way, the Huffington Post reported that both Bill AND Hillary Clinton are on record as saying that the Grove outside Vaught-Hemingway Stadium is the greatest place to plow gash in the country!!!
Which is something coming from a woman who’s tasted punanny from the finest universities in the world!
This game also offers some other interesting storylines, such as the fact that Ole Miss could become the first team to defeat a Nick Saban coached team since my Purdue Boilermakers back in the late 90’s.
Lil Nicky has been on the warpath to prevent that travesty of justice. To say that Saban hates losing would be a gross understatement!
Nick Saban hates losing more than Abby Wambach hates men!
This chick hates male genitalia more than an inbred girl from the hills of Tennessee hates her brothers and cousins. She would rather play swallow the strap-on with a Lowes plumbing department team member than…
oops, I digress…
Yet, Hugh Freeze has been able to pull off back-to-back wins against the Tide. Interestingly, he has lost back-to-back to Bert Bielema’s Arkansas Razorbacks. Now, Freeze’s Clan is hoping to put an end to the “Black Lives Matter” movement and make it a 3-peat against the Tide.
Thing is, even though Ole Miss is clearly paying for players to attend their institution of “higher learning,” it’s not institutionalized the way it is in Tuscaloosa.
The Tide boosters have made paying for talent an art form. Ever since Bear payed players to warm the bench to keep them from playing for competitors, Bama has made paying players standard operating practice.
So, even though it will be close game, Bama and Joey Freshwater will be violating the Rebel faithful with more ferociousness than a lifer on a fresh-faced teenaged first offender. Tide 39 Colonel Reb 31.