I’m back, b!tches. DaKidd took part of last season off. Had to run some sh*t down to the Keys with Cousin Emmett.
No, not THAT kinda sh*t, some artwork. Cousin Emmett has found a new resurgence in blown glass.
Looks like dildos to me, but Emmett has carved out a nice little niche in South Florida. DaKidd would probably still be there if my Jai Alai ring hadn’t been infiltrated by Monroe County’s finest. And I needed a date.
DaKidd draws the line at finger banging widowed retirees in the camper outside of Golden Corral.
Not judging Emmett, just not for DaKidd. Hey, at least he gets prune smoothies in the morning.
I had some time to think and ponder my strategy for this season while packaging blown glass phallic symbols on the dock. DaKidd believes this is the year the ship gets turned on its mast.
Like the metaphor? Been sitting on that one since watching Cousin Emmett crawl out of a dinghy fresh off God knows what with the newly widowed Mrs. Kravitz.
God, she has jacked up toes. But I digress… Florida State shocks Bama, and here’s why..
Alabama is on a losing streak. They lost to Clemson in last season’s national championship game and they lost Lane Kiffin. If Lane had been directing the Tide offense, they would have easily bested an over-matched Clemson bunch. Lane is the best coach in America, but no one will listen to him.
And Saban’s “impenetrable” defense was on the field when the Tigers marched the length of the field and shoved it in Saint Nick’s L’il Debbie hole.
The Achilles heal of Satan’s…I mean Saban’s defense, has always been a mobile QB who can pass. That French bastard, Ricky Jean François, can skate. DaKidd learned about that Ç (known as Cedilla) from a French Moroccan gal named, “Sophie”.
Her momma makes the best streusel, but that’s a long, messy story full of intrigue, taboo, and frosting for another blogspot.
On the defensive side of the ball for the Injuns, that all-purpose d-back, Derwin James, who, by the way, missed most of last season due to injury, once hit a Miami WR so hard that he made a sound that resembled something coming out of the anti-Christ in the bathroom after taco Tuesday.
That kid is a hammer. First rounder. I expect the Tide to regroup and win the West with all that blue-chip, 5-star bullsh*t, but they are catching the Noles early, and Jimbo has lived his entire life for this moment. He endured the cat that solidified the moniker, “Criminoles” in Jameis Winston,
and he’s perched to put another peck in the armor of The Titan of T-Town. Criminoles not only cover the 7.5, they win outright, 30-27.